Understanding Failure to Launch in Teens and Young Adults
It’s the familiar story of failure to launch: the teen who can’t get up for school, the college student who can’t get their assignments done, or the parent worried their adult child may never get a job or leave the house.
“Failure to launch” refers to a specific life transition (or lack thereof) for teens and young adults. In this period, people usually struggle to hit expected developmental, academic, or professional milestones. In adolescence, this often shows up as struggling in school or withdrawing socially. In adulthood, it can look like difficulty leaving the family home, holding a full-time job, forming friendships, or building a romantic relationship.
Together, these images encapsulate what people refer to as the “failure to launch.”
What Does “Failure to Launch” Mean?
Clinicians and researchers have defined the failure to launch in a few different ways. It can look like a “gradual withdrawal from social life,” or skipping school, eating a poor diet, not exercising, or engaging in excessive gaming or social media.
For young adults, failure to launch is typically seen as continuing to stay at their childhood home, avoiding higher education and employment, and being highly reliant on their parents.
At the end of the day, teens or young adults going through this stage may face significant levels of stigma. People may consider individuals going through this experience as “overly pampered and lazy.”
This is often not true. In fact, this pattern may be associated with increased feelings of depression, anxiety, fear, and isolation.
If we want to better support ourselves or a loved one through this challenge, we need to know the signs of a failure to launch.
Common Signs of Failure to Launch
We may be able to determine if we or a loved one is going through a failure to launch if we see signs of the following:
- Lack of motivation
- Lack of ambition
- Challenges with work ethic or procrastination
- Low distress tolerance
- Lack of accountability
- Social isolation
While many teens and young adults experience one or two of these symptoms at different points of development, the failure to launch occurs when several of these symptoms occur concurrently, persist over time, and significantly interfere with functioning.
Where Failure to Launch Comes From
Several factors can contribute to failure to launch, including:
Underlying Mental or Physical Health Factors
Mental or physical health conditions can affect one’s focus, cognition, motivation, energy levels, and other domains that hinder academic, professional, or social success.
Parental Factors and Home Environment
Certain parenting styles or family dynamics can breed a lack of independence or exploration throughout childhood, which can carry into adolescence and young adulthood.
Social Factors
One’s experiences socializing with friends, efforts in the job market, and relationships with teachers at school can influence how well someone takes risks and meets developmental goals on time.
Exposure to Trauma
Being exposed to either acute or recurring traumatic events can greatly affect how one develops and copes with stressors. Therefore, it is unsurprising that being exposed to trauma can make a failure to launch more likely.
It is important to note that in most cases, this experience is not caused by a single factor. Instead, the failure to launch may result from a combination of internal and external forces that can reinforce each other over time.
Failure to Launch in a Post-COVID World
Even though the COVID-19 lockdowns are well in the rearview mirror, it is not surprising that many researchers posit the pandemic has affected the prevalence of the failure to launch.
A Pew Research Center survey found that approximately one-third of U.S. adults aged 18 to 34 live in their parents’ home. Even though this does not represent a substantial increase in adults living at home with their parents (32% in 2014), the failure to launch has been covered more in the media.
While a young adult living at home does not automatically equate to a failure to launch, the pandemic changed how many young people practice independence, embrace uncertainty and take risks.
Some researchers hypothesize that increases in social isolation from the pandemic and an ever-present online culture have fueled levels of anxiety in young people, which can make them more hesitant to explore new things and force them to stay tied down to more secure bases.
How Teens and Young Adults Can Get Unstuck
Experiencing the failure to launch (or watching a loved one go through it) can feel scary and debilitating. However, it’s important to remember that growth can be achieved even if progress will not always be linear.
There are a number of different methods that can help teens and young adults experiencing a failure to launch. These can obviously look different from person to person, but they usually include the following interventions:
Addressing family accommodation
Since those who are going through this stage may use an over-reliance on parents for help in avoiding stress, clinicians can do work with family members to decrease family accommodation. Decreasing family accommodation has shown to increase one’s capacity for independent coping.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
Both CBT and DBT can help people by capitalizing on strengths, improving distress tolerance, and reducing thoughts and behaviors that obstruct one’s growth.
Socialization through group therapy
Part of the challenge about the failure to launch is social isolation. Attending group therapy or support groups can help people process the challenges of this phase, while also building connections with others who may be experiencing something similar.
Executive functioning coaching and mentorship
People going through this may be tired of getting nagged by their family members (or maybe you’re tired of nagging your child!) Sometimes it can be helpful to find a peer, coach, or mentor who can hear what you’re going through, provide insights, and use their expertise in cognition and organization to help make a plan to move forward.
Moving Forward from Failure to Launch
Have you noticed your teen or young adult child struggling to meet their potential, build healthy relationships, or socialize with friends? Do you feel stuck in your ability to help them?
If so, it might be helpful to have a thought partner who can break things down, help you or your loved one feel unstuck, and provide the push that’s really needed. In therapy, you get to process what’s led you here and develop a plan to move forward.
At LightLine Therapy, we help teens and young adults struggling to meet the moment, process how they’re feeling, push through obstacles, and develop achievable goals to meet appropriate milestones.
If you or your kid are experiencing a failure to launch, it may be a sign that it’s time to find a professional who specializes in teens and young adults.
Book a free consultation with me to get started.
FAQs
1. What does “failure to launch” mean in teens and young adults?
Failure to launch describes a pattern where teens or young adults struggle to meet age-appropriate academic, social, or professional milestones. This can include avoiding school or work, withdrawing socially, or relying heavily on parents for daily functioning. It is not a diagnosis, but a signal that something deeper may be getting in the way of growth.
2. How can I tell the difference between a phase and failure to launch?
Many teens and young adults go through short periods of low motivation or uncertainty. Failure to launch is more likely when avoidance and dependence persist over time and significantly interfere with school, work, or relationships. Duration, intensity, and impact on daily functioning are key indicators.
3. Does living at home mean my young adult has failed to launch?
Not necessarily. Living at home can be practical or culturally normal, especially in high-cost cities. The concern arises when living at home is paired with avoidance of responsibility, lack of forward movement, and high reliance on parents for emotional or practical support.
4. What causes failure to launch?
Failure to launch usually develops from a combination of factors rather than a single cause. Mental health challenges, family dynamics, trauma exposure, and social stressors often interact over time. These factors can reinforce avoidance and make independence feel overwhelming or unsafe.
5. What kind of therapy helps with failure to launch?
Effective therapy often includes a mix of individual work and family involvement. Approaches like CBT, DBT, and executive functioning support can help build distress tolerance, motivation, and practical skills. Treatment is tailored to the specific barriers each person is facing.
