Therapy for My Partner in New York
You’re not crazy for wanting your partner to get support.
You’ve tried everything—gently suggesting, not-so-gently suggesting, hinting, nudging, maybe even flat-out asking. Still, they (and more likely than not, he) won’t budge.
And in the meantime, you’ve somehow ended up being the one carrying the emotional load for both of you. How did you get here?
Let’s talk about how to help your partner get into therapy—so you can stop playing the role of therapist and start building the relationship you actually want.
You just want to stop feeling like you're the only one who gives a shit in the relationship. Or like you're constantly walking on eggshells. Or like it's pulling teeth to get anything resembling an honest emotion out of them.
It’s tough to watch someone you love struggle—especially when you know support is out there, and they’re just not reaching for it.
We get it. You’re not trying to change who they are.
How to Get a Man to go to Therapy
Therapy is rarely an easy sell. Most men aren't socialized to ask for help, especially not for anything that involves emotional honesty and vulnerability. Those aren't exactly tenets of traditional masculinity. But of course, that doesn't mean that men don't need help. It just means it might take a lot for them to seek it out on their own.
You're trying to understand what they're feeling or why they did what they did, but they just can't seem to access their own emotions. They're bottled up, pushed down, or showing up in other ways. Frustration, distance, silence, outbursts. You name it.
If you're in the position of wanting to support a man in getting therapy, there are strategic ways to make it more likely to happen–without becoming his full-time emotional support team in the process.
You’re constantly troubleshooting the relationship—reading the articles, initiating the talks, trying to get through to them—and it’s exhausting.
You’re Always the One Trying to Fix It
You’ve wondered: Is this just who they are? Am I asking for too much? You're not. Wanting connection, effort, and emotional safety isn’t asking too much. It’s asking for what’s fair.
You’re Second-Guessing If It’s Even Worth It
You’re the one doing the feeling, the processing, the explaining. And honestly? You’re tired of being the only one holding that space.
You’re Carrying the Emotional Weight for Both of You
You love them, but it’s starting to feel less like a relationship and more like a role you didn’t sign up for.
You’re Starting to Feel More Like a Caretaker Than a Partner
You don’t know what version of them you’re going to get. So you tiptoe, hoping to keep the peace—but it’s costing you.
You’re Walking on Eggshells
You’ve read the books, sent the links, tried every way to bring it up. But at the end of the day, they have to want to show up.
You’re Doing the Work for Them
How You Can Help Without Doing It All
Remind them they don’t have to be in crisis
A lot of people think therapy is only for breakdowns. Let them know they don’t have to hit rock bottom to benefit from support. Sometimes the best time to start is before everything falls apart.
Don’t take it personally if they resist
Therapy can feel threatening to people who equate emotional expression with weakness. If they pull back or shut down, it likely says more about what they’ve learned than how they feel about you.
Set boundaries
You can research therapists, send links, even offer to make the call—but at some point, the decision has to be theirs. You’re not failing if they don’t follow through. Your job is to support, not to save.
Try couples therapy
We'll focus on developing genuine self-compassion and reducing negative self-talk to build lasting confidence.
Model what support can look like
Going to therapy yourself can shift the conversation. It shows you’re not above doing the work, and gives you tools to manage the stress of feeling like the emotional backbone of the relationship.
Start with how it’s affecting you
They might think it’s just their issue, but you’re feeling the ripple effects. When you share how their behavior or mood is impacting you (or your kids, or the relationship), it opens the door.
You Deserve Support, Too
This page isn’t about convincing them. It’s about helping you navigate the frustration, confusion, and emotional labor that comes with loving someone who won’t take care of themselves.
Therapy can be a turning point. For them, sure. But also for you.
If you want to talk through what you’ve tried or how to approach things from a different angle, we’re here.
We Specialize in Therapy for Relationships in NYC and Across New York State
If you’ve been trying to hold a relationship together while your partner avoids the deeper stuff, you’re in the right place. We work with people who are tired of doing the emotional labor alone—and who are ready to set a new standard for what they’re willing to carry.
Whether you're looking to get your partner into therapy, rebuild connection, or stop feeling like the only one doing the work, we’re here to help you move forward—whatever that looks like for you.
What if my partner refuses to go?
That’s hard, and unfortunately, not uncommon. The truth is: you can’t make someone go. But you can get support for yourself so you’re not carrying the weight of their avoidance alone.
Is it weird to go to therapy about someone else’s issues?
Not at all. This is about your experience in the relationship—how it’s impacting you, how you want to respond, and where your boundaries are. That’s more than enough reason to start.
What if I’m afraid therapy will make things worse between us?
That’s a valid fear. Therapy might shift things—but it usually moves them toward honesty, clarity, and a stronger foundation. And if change is needed, therapy can help you navigate it with intention instead of reaction.
Can I start therapy even if we’re still figuring things out?
Yes. You don’t need to have answers before you begin. You just need space to talk things through with someone who’s not emotionally tied to the outcome.
Do you offer couples therapy, too?
Yes, we do. And sometimes starting there can help ease a reluctant partner into the process. We can talk about what approach might work best for your situation.
Other Groups We Work With
When communication stalls and resentment builds, therapy offers a space to get unstuck. Whether your relationship is hanging on by a thread or just quietly unraveling, we’ll help you (both) get clearer on what needs to change.
Dating + Relationships
Therapy isn’t just for people who love to talk about their feelings. We work with men who’ve spent most of their lives holding it all in—and are finally ready to try a different way of showing up for themselves and the people they love.
Men’s Issues
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